I tried....

I found you unconscious... not breathing........... with no pulse. I began CPR immediately, determined to bring you back into this world..... to live a long life..... to be with people who loved you and needed you. But you had other plans. You didn't want to be in this world anymore. And I could no longer promise the people who stood around, "waiting for a miracle to happen" that there would be one today. I had to tell the truth. YOU were stronger than me this time. YOU were in control. YOU knew what you wanted and demanded it. And so it was. You won in the end. You had your way. You are gone. And I could not comfort anyone here who loved you. They blamed me. I blamed me. I SHOULD have been stronger. I should have been more in control. But life (and death) is not always about strength or control... it is about WILL and what the heart feels and has had to endure. My heart is heavy tonight.... 45 minutes of constant CPR and you left me anyway. I feel like I have failed. I feel like I have let you and others down. Perhaps I have realized that once again, I am not God.

(This is in memory of a friend who committed suicide)


HOW TO SAVE A LIFE




Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life


Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Every Station has one

Every Station has one. Every Rookie, Firefighter, Paramedic, Fire Chief, Fire Captain, Battalion Chief (and anyone else in-between) has been one. No one is spared. A Firehouse is not a Firehouse unless you can joke and tease and pull pranks. It is what we do to relieve the stress of the more serious, the more heartbreaking, the more "personal" parts of our jobs. Every Fire Station has a "Cinnamon Dragon." And if they are lucky, they can have several at a time who are not suspecting it. On the outside, most of us "look" professional. We portray that in the public eye (or we TRY to!). But when we are alone, in the comfort of our Station... we are ..... well, just like everyone else who wants to have fun once in awhile. For now, this video tells it all. To BE or NOT TO BE a Cinnamon Dragon is not within a person's control. They unsuspectingly fall into the trap. And what ensues is laughter that you can hear all through the night when everyone is trying to sleep but some remain awake thinking of...... the Cinnamon Dragon.

ON THE LOOKOUT

I was in the Dispatch room of our Firehouse one evening and a call came in:

"Attention all Stations. Be on the lookout for a suspicious vehicle in your area. Vehicle is described as a red sleigh driven by reindeer. Suspect is described as a while male, heavy build with a white beard and moustache, wearing a red suit and hat. The suspect has been seen landing on rooftops dropping presents down the chimneys of the houses. Please approach suspect with holiday cheer and.... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!"

Yes, this was an actual call on Christmas eve.