The Bratwurst Incident

Most of us are good cooks in the Firehouse. The ones who aren't only get to eat. I love to cook. I have learned a lot over the years from watching others and experimenting. We often improvise our meals when the alarms are ringing and calls are coming in. We cook (and eat) around those calls.

It was a warm summer evening and we had a BBQ going. We were cooking bratwurst on the grill for dinner. Bratwurst for 16 men. Not me. I don't like hot dogs or sausages or anything else with that "shape". I microwaved a Veggie Burger for myself that night. All the side dishes were cooked, the salad was made, the bread was on the table. In walks 4 "City Officials" to our Firehouse. At dinnertime, too! Since we were ready to sit down and eat, we couldn't be rude so we invited them to have dinner with us. We would arrange something. We didn't have time to BBQ more bratwursts but I told my Captain we'd manage and I would take care of everything.

I can cook ANYTHING in a microwave. I am good at it. Better than at a BBQ, for sure! (So I thought). Well, everyone is sitting at the table, I open the microwave to bring out the 4 newly cooked bratwursts and to my horror, they didn't quite look like the ones that came from the BBQ. But what could I do? Everyone was waiting to eat.

(Mind you, I am the only woman in our Department of 16 men).

I put a cover on the bratwursts and prayed like heck we had four vegetarians at the table. No such luck. When the pan was uncovered, I jumped up from the table to serve those bratwursts and trying oh so hard not to show any emotion (seriously, I thought I'd die right there!), I placed one of those brat-wanna-be's on 3 of my men's plates and the fourth one on one of the City Official's plate. We said grace and it was time to eat. Everyone was staring at each other. No one said a word. It was dead silent.

(By the way, my Veggie Burger was quite good!)

Everyone picked up their silverware to start eating but no one could take the first bite. Seemed like everyone was waiting for everyone else to start. In my mind I was wondering what was going through their heads and if I were them, what I be thinking? The nuked bratwursts were the center of attention at first.... but the people who was supposed to EAT those brats became even more the center of attention. It was just a nuked bratwurst versus a BBQ'd brat for goodness sake!

Now that I think about it.... I suppose eating those nuked bratwursts were one of the most uncomfortable situations those four men ever had to endure. And with others STARING at them? I mean, it must have become a life-changing moment for them.

I don't think I would have wanted to be a man that night. Not even for a second!




Sometimes "improvising" doesn't work. Neither do guests who show up unexpectedly at dinnertime! ;)

By the way, what IS the proper way to eat a nuked bratwurst?????