April Fool's Day is 365 days a year

Believe me. When you put 16 men together in one Firehouse, you just can't help playing jokes all the time on them. Of course, you have to be prepared to have jokes played back at you. I am prepared. Always.

Our Firehouse has two sleeping quarters. They are across the hall from each other. Both sleeping quarters have doors but they are never closed in case we need to run out on a call half asleep in the middle of the night.

This gives me an idea. I examine those doors and realize both of them open INWARD. (Guess whoever put the doors on knew all too well the bumps on the head one would get whenever someone opened those doors into the hallway!) So they open inward. This is good. Mind you, the doors are always open for "practical reasons." Well, I don't feel like being practical. Evil is more like it. ;-) After all, in just a few hours it will be April 1st. I can't just let it pass me by now, CAN I ???? (Ok, ok, don't judge me just yet!)

I make plans, I readjust the plans. This goes on for a couple hours. What I have in mind has to be JUST RIGHT or the whole thing will be ruined. I finally get to the point where I am confident I can pull this joke off..... and single handedly against all those men who claim to "look out for my butt in dangerous situations." (I might be dead after this joke so please keep their sentiments for me in mind! I'll need them as backup later!)

Everyone has retired for the night, hoping to sleep the whole night through without any calls. We were quite busy during the day so we are kind of bushed. I lie awake listening..... for those "sounds" that eventually come which tell me they are sound asleep... ok, and for the snoring too. This is my key that I can get up and do what I have to do.

I leave the sleeping quarters I am in and close the door. I close the door of the other room right across the hall. I then tie a rope from one doorknob to the other; carefully leaving about 2 inches of slack in the rope. I walk to the dispatch room. Captain Harold is in the dispatch room drinking coffee and watching TV with one of the operators.

"Whatcha doing up?" he asks. (It is 3 am)

"Couldn't sleep," I tell him. He looks at me and studies my face. I pretend to watch the TV.

"What are you up to?" he asks.

"Nothing. Just couldn't sleep."

This is my Captain. He knows me better than anyone else. (I hate this fact).

"What did you do?" he insists.

"Nothing."

"I know you better than this. You have this 'Gonna-get-you-good!' look on your face. What are you planning?"

"Nothing."

"I'll bet you 25 bucks it doesn't work!" he says.

"Make it a hundred," I tell him.

I ask Chester (our dispatch guy) to hit the fire alarms in two minutes. These are like the fire alarms that go off in schools for the fire drills.

Captain Harold and I walk to our observatory positions. We wait. Then the fire alarms go off.

THUD! (I suppose this is the first person in line in the room on the left trying to go out the door that is surprisingly shut)

THUD! (Ditto for the room on the right)

And then the fun begins. I see the lights under the doors go on. People in the sleeping quarters on the left try to open the door at the same time the ones on the right try to open THEIR door. Since there is only two inches of rope slack, it turns into a tug-o'-war.

It doesn't take much to humor me. I am laughing so hard. Those guys are barely awake and can't figure out what is going on. I look at my Captain.......

He is counting out a hundred dollars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They should all be glad I didn't repeat my joke from 2 years ago when I put "Itching powder" in all their clothes. Ok, mostly their underclothes. Watching them all standing there in public (we were on a call in the city) scratching themselves was a sight to behold! And to see it on the evening news was even better!

It wasn't even April 1st that day! You can always expect the unexpected here. And remember... I am always one step ahead of you men! :-)))